It’s fun to watch rankings change every week, but they only tell us so much about the status of a team. Which teams are on the rise and which are barely hanging on? Which ones have a competitive ranking by the grace of their NQS drop scores and which will pose a real threat in postseason? I’ll dig into the real dynamics of NCAA gymnastics in this biweekly column that’s part power ranking, part high school yearbook awards—all serious analysis.
Just kidding, almost zero serious analysis.
I’ve missed writing The Stock Market so much! It’s a great week to bring it back for 2020 because the sport is an absolute mess right now, just how I like it.
If you’re a new reader, the origin story of this piece is that I intended to create a really cool power rankings column, and that plan fell to pieces very quickly when I realized I’m not a serious person who writes serious things. If you want real power rankings, my colleague Brandis writes those, and they’re phenomenal. But if you’re just in this sport for the nonsense… Welcome, friend. You’re in the right place.
Flames Emoji
Or should I say… *turtle* emoji? Because Maryland has been unreal. Our understanding of the Little Boston meet was limited to an Instagram live, so given that nobody actually sits down and watches an Instagram live for two hours, many of us wondered if the Terps cracking 196 was a WMU-first-meet style fluke or the result of generous scoring. It wasn’t, on either count. The Maryland freshmen look phenomenal, and all signs point to it being a real force this year. Weird, I know, but I’m into it.
Great Except for That One Event
It feels so cliche to put UCLA beam, but I can’t not put UCLA beam, right? If it’s not the lineup, it’s the composition, and if it’s not the composition, they’re just plain falling. Let’s hope the clean-ish lineup at BYU means the crisis is over, but I have a feeling it’s not so simple.
Why Is This Happening
There have been some absolutely stone cold takes about how college gymnastics should work from alumni recently. I will name no names, but I haven’t enjoyed it.
You’re Beautiful but Please Hit
This is a Marissa Oakley call-out post. When she’s on there’s nothing better. When she’s not…
Quietly Cruising
Arizona is ranked fourth in the Pac-12, I’m JUST saying. And not only that, it actually really is the fourth-best team thus far. Beating Oregon State flat-out last week was impressive—and let’s be clear that neither the Gill meltdown nor the random vault out-of-order deduction was at fault, Arizona looked every inch the superior team. A 196 would be great for the Wildcats, as would a repeat win over the Beavers this weekend (surprise!! rematch folks), but they’ve made their point already.
On the Struggle Bus
There’s a lot going wrong at Oregon State. The falls on bars don’t help, but rotation issues on floor and basically everything on vault are persistent and concerning. Of course, this is a very talented team that could pull it back at any point. But if it doesn’t do it soon, it will at the very least be a team doomed for late-season NQS drop score dramatics.
Do You Have a Sixth Routine
Usually the title of this one is “Do You Have a Seventh Routine,” but I had to change it because my nominee is Boise State on bars, and nope, it sure doesn’t! Hope Masiado was absolutely clutch at Washington this week to hit her college debut on bars, following a fall and knowing she was part of a lineup of five. But one has to imagine that if Alexis Stokes was even sort of close to being ready, the Broncos would have risked her in the six spot. There may not be a sixth gymnast training bars on the whole team. We’re keeping an eye on it, clearly.
Was That Just a Fluke
I’m pretty sure it was a fluke. Gym gods, please let it be a fluke. But Cornell putting up a sub-43—yes, FORTY THREE—bars total in its season opener, with no individual score over 9.0—yes, ACTUAL NINE—was not something I expected, wanted or want to ever see again.
Next Week, I Swear
Michigan is not doing bad gymnastics. Michigan is doing good gymnastics. There are some pieces still to fall into place, but the potential is there and the consistency is coming. It’s time to clean up the little messy bits and go 197…right?
Won Twitter For The Week
Your self-awareness is appreciated, Greg.
https://twitter.com/UtahMarz/status/1219753271289511936?s=20
Glad You’re Having Fun
The right-hand beam judge at Rutgers this weekend who flashed a 10 for three different Minnesota beam routines. I don’t know what Right Judge was doing in the snow in Piscataway, New Jersey, that morning to turn up in such a good mood, but I’d like to.
I Don’t Know Who Needs to Hear This, But…
Fans who have a problem with scoring literally never think that it’s the athlete’s fault. If you’re the kind of person who goes around trying to make sure that everyone includes a “I LOVE THE ATHLETE, AND I’M ONLY UPSET AT THE JUDGES, BUT…” qualifier, please know that you don’t look more caring and balanced than the rest of us, you just look painfully defensive of your fave.
Fall of the Week
This wasn’t in a competition routine, but who cares. Milan Clausi’s extreme extraness is a blessing to all of us.
Getting out of bed after a long weekend like…
CC: @Milan_Clausi pic.twitter.com/pkitzOHtNj
— Cal Gymnastics (@CalWGym) January 21, 2020
Article by Rebecca Scally
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Can…someone name names? I have no idea what that is talking about?
Me too!