The Stock Market: Jan. 26

It’s fun to watch rankings change every week, but they only tell us so much about the status of a team. Which teams are on the rise and which are barely hanging on? Which ones have a competitive ranking by the grace of their RQS drop scores and which will pose a real threat in postseason? I’ll dig into the real dynamics of NCAA gymnastics in this biweekly column that’s part power ranking, part high school yearbook awards—all serious analysis.

Just kidding, almost zero serious analysis.

It’s been a news-dense couple of weeks, and I think we’re all feeling the strain of the quantity of events. Remember three years one week ago when everyone on Twitter was yelling at Deanna Hong? We were younger then.

Honestly, a lot of the things that have happened in gymnastics in the last few weeks don’t really warrant silly jokes in a column that only my friends read. Don’t worry, though. I had plenty of other material.

Flames Emoji

It’s been a great couple of weeks for most of the teams who didn’t compete in 2021. The Ivy League teams have all made major strides since their first meets out, West Chester picked up right where it left off and UC Davis is ranked No. 37. Other teams whose 2021s were severely impacted by COVID, like Michigan State and Stanford, are looking better than they have in years. 

On the Struggle Bus

Sidearm Stats. And don’t get arrogant, Statbroadcast because you’re on thin ice as well. The state of NCAA gymnastics live scoring has always been poor, but this season it feels like live scores work correctly less than half of the time.

Glad You’re Having Fun

You’re Beautiful but Please Hit

I mean… all of the Florida freshmen. At this point I’m convinced that Florida’s general erraticness is a strategic choice to avoid recent seasons’ peaking-too-soon issues. Still, it’s a bummer to watch such a talented group fumble around getting 9.825s, so I hope Jenny Rowland’s master plan involves sharpening up some of these routines for February.

Why Is This Happening

This category is ideal for things that I’m really hoping are one-offs, and after a great first outing, I really think Arizona’s bars collapse at home this week was a fluke. More importantly, I hope Malia Hargrove is OK after narrowly avoiding landing headfirst on the low bar and scoring a 1.000. 

Do You Have a Seventh Routine

Jade Carey is a large, beautiful, sparkly Band-Aid on Oregon State’s problems, but that bars lineup is still barely viable even with her help. There’s a lot of work still to be done there.

Won Twitter for the Week

Quietly Cruising

Stanford! Isn’t it lovely for Stanford to be a normal, low-drama team that has full lineups and gets conference wins and doesn’t have to train on a balcony? It just feels good. 

In Memoriam

AJ Jackson’s Twitter indirects. RIP.

Next Week, I Swear

At this point my friends and Twitter followers are so sick of listening to me talk about Penn’s program record chances that this is my only outlet. IT’S SO CLOSE. SO CLOSE. 

I Don’t Know Who Needs to Hear This, but…

If you want your favorite team’s head coach fired for moral reasons, that’s your right as a fan and an activist. If you want to go on social media and declare your dream replacement head coach, that’s also your right, but I recommend nominating someone who didn’t do something very similar just a few years ago and avoided ever really facing scrutiny for it at all. You look less performative that way, just as an FYI.

(Boring disclaimer: Of course, fans never really know what goes on behind the scenes at a team, and teams don’t necessarily owe explanations. I’m complaining less about any one coach and more about the hypocrisy of people on Twitter who, after all we’ve learned, still think that there are some coaches whose actions don’t warrant scrutiny because they just seem so nice!!)

Fall of the Week

Who could pick just one?

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Article by Rebecca Scally

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